Cultural anthropologists have observed humans who worship
physical objects, who ascribe special significance to the physical world. The scientific term is Animism, or the worldview
that non-human entities, including
animals, plants, and often even inanimate objects or phenomena, possess a
spiritual essence, resulting in humans falling in love with or assigning power
to said objects. In the extreme
there are these
examples of people falling in love with various objects, even attempting to
marry said objects. And, sadly, in the
world of NFL playoffs, there may be some fans to our north who ascribe special
powers to their football stadium, much like the people in that video.
When I watch a Seattle Seahawks home game, I can’t help but
think that the team’s fans are exhibiting signs of animism, with their football
stadium the object of their affection. When
Seahawks fans enter their stadium they longingly yell and scream their affections;
and the football stadium, because of its unique physical configuration,
responds with an echoing sound of “woooo” and “yeeeee haaaa.” This sends the fans into ecstasy, and they
become engorged with excitement, and moan at their true love “ahhhhh” and
“defense, defense.” I’m not sure why “defense,
defense” is a term of affection, but apparently it has special meaning for the
Seahawks fans and their inanimate loved one.
The Seahawk fans stand erect the entire game, holding up
signs proclaiming they are the “12th Man,” possibly indicating there
are 11 other men in love with the stadium.
But the fans don’t appear to be upset about the 11 men ahead of them, so
jealousy does not seem to be a motivator.
After several hours of verbal ejaculation, the fans turn flaccid, and sometimes
prematurely withdraw from the bowels of their loved stadium, leaving her out in
the cold rain and snow of Seattle, like a salmon tossed to the curb at the Pike
Place Market.
And so the Seahawks fans, and their beloved CenturyLink
Stadium will attempt to assert their 12th Manly influence on the
game Sunday, howling and yelling and screaming until they become catatonic. And that will be a good thing for the their
mental health, as the Seahawks fans will need to be catatonic to absorb the
outcome of Sunday’s game with the 49ers.
The Seahawks are an outstanding team from top to
bottom. Their coaching staff – first
rate. Their QB – first rate. Their defensive backs – first rate. Their running attack – first rate. And with a 16-1 home record the last two
years it would appear that it is nearly impossible to beat them in
Seattle. But no team in the NFL is
invincible, even a first rate team like the Seahawks. At this point in the season all four teams are
outstanding, but the most important quality of teams that win at this point in the
season is whether it is playing its best or less than its best. And, unfortunately for the Seahawks they are
not playing at their best right now, especially at the most important position
on the field. Let’s
take a look at their quarterback Russell Wilson’s record for the last five
games (source: ESPN.com).
Russell
Wilson's Season
|
First 12 Games
|
Past 5 Games
|
|
|
Cmp. Pct.
|
64.9
|
56.7
|
|
Yds. Per Att.
|
8.8
|
6.6
|
|
TD-Int.
|
22-6
|
4-3
|
|
Total QB Rating
|
67.5
|
30.4
|
Playing a game to reach the Super Bowl is not the time to be
playing your worst football, but that appears to be the case for Wilson. I’m a big fan of Wilson, but this 5 game
trend is bad for the Seahawks. I’m
pretty sure Wilson knows about the above statistics.
And there is one more thing he knows -- the 49ers defense is
playing their best football of the season, and they are far superior to the
defense of the Saints, a team that Wilson could only throw for a measly 103
yards last week. Wilson is talented and
his team’s offensive scheme is one of the best in the league. But Wilson has never been where he will be on
Sunday, and it will show in his performance.
The 49ers defense is a veteran playoff team facing a playoff newbie who
is not playing very well right now. The
49ers defense won’t need 12 men on Sunday, but the Seahawk’s offense might.
While 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick has been to the
Super Bowl and won a conference championship, I’m concerned about him on Sunday
too. Kaepernick has a major flaw, and at
CenturyLink field in Seattle, it lifts its ugly head quite high. Kaepernick runs an offense that requires him
to make a lot of adjustments at the line of scrimmage, which requires clear
communication with his line, running backs and receivers. In a stadium full of fans in full animism it has
been difficult for him to effectively communicate to his players at the line of
scrimmage, resulting in delay of game penalties and unnecessary timeouts. We’ve seen this in his last two games in
Seattle, and if the 49ers don’t address this and come up with another method of
running plays, it is doubtful that Kaepernick will have a championship level
game on Sunday.
My recommendation to the Kaepernick and the 49ers: Call the Play, Run the Play. If the defense is showing something you
didn’t expect: Call the Play, Run the
Play. If the defense is lining up
against the run and you have a run play called, but a pass play would be
better: Call the Play, Run the
Play.
The Seattle defense is tough, and if the 49ers are repeatedly
penalized for delay of game and have to face 1st and 15 or 3rd
and 10 all day, it won’t be a good outcome for the 49ers. If they get to the end of the game and don’t
have any timeouts because they used them earlier to avoid delay of game
penalties, they will regret it. This
will likely be a close game, possibly decided by a late field goal. Teams that need a late field goal to win a
game but don’t have any timeouts often lose the game because they can’t get
their place kicker on the field to kick the ball through the uprights. This could happen to the 49ers if Kaepernick
doesn’t address this issue. Call the
Play, Run the Play – CP, RP.
I love the rivalry of Jim Harbaugh and Pete Carroll, but
they don’t play the game on the field.
And the secondary of the Seahawks are amazing talkers, and they can even
cover receivers. But the quarterback
that plays the best game will escort their team to the Super Bowl. And right now, the quarterback that is
playing the best is Colin Kaepernick. He
played a great game in frozen Green Bay, and out Super-manned the number one
quarterback in all of North Carolina.
And if he can “CP, RP” he will lead his team back to the Super
Bowl.
I just hope the Seahawks fan’s animism won’t turn into
animus, or the jails of Seattle will be quite full on Sunday night.
San Francisco 49ers: 24
Seattle Seahawks: 23
2014 AFC Championship Game
While Television Sportscaster Heads are swooning 24/7 over
the Tom Brady/Payton Manning matchup, my response is “so what.” And then I yawn. And then I think about the price of milk in
China. And then I think about the
stupidity of Chris Christie. And then I
wonder about why Levi’s puts that little pocket next to the big pocket on my
blue jeans. What can you put in that
pocket besides lint? Levi’s should give
that pocket up for lent.
The point is this game is meaningless because the goal of
playing it is to get to the Super Bowl and win the NFL championship. And while one of these teams will get to the
Super Bowl, neither team will win the Super Bowl. Either the Seahawks or the 49ers will win the
Super Bowl, barring injury or a player pulling a Stanley
Wilson before the big game.
All of the heroics of Manning and Brady are well behind
them. Brady hasn’t won a Super Bowl game
since 2005. And Manning is 1-1 in Super
Bowls with his only win back in 2007. Sure,
sure, Brady and Manning had great seasons.
But their Super Bowl victories are so far in the past you can’t do a
Google search about them because Google didn’t even exist for most of their
playing careers.
While the Broncos have home field advantage, and Manning has
broken several passing records this year, I don’t have much faith that their
defense can keep the Patriots from scoring a lot of points. And with the loss of cornerback Chris Harris,
the Broncos will have a tough time keeping Tom Brady from marching up and down
the field. In last week’s playoff game the
Broncos had a 17-0 lead against the Chargers, but after Harris went out with a
knee injury, Philip Rivers’ passing attack came alive and San Diego came back
to make the game close. Denver’s defense
has too many holes to contain the Patriots, and I expect this to be a high
scoring game for the Pats.
In
their playoff game against the Colts, the Patriots actually ran for more yards
than Brady had passing. This unusual
occurrence will give the Broncos fits.
It is one thing to prepare for Brady, but it is another thing to also
have to prepare for a strong running attack.
Brady only, maybe. But Brady and
a running game? Well, it looks to me
like the Broncos defensive coordinator Jack Del Rio will continue to have problems
beating Tom Brady and the Patriots. In
fact, Del Reo led defenses are 0-7 against Brady. And Brady tends to have a field day against
Del Rio’s teams, completing 73% of his passes, throwing for over 1,770 yards,
17 touchdowns and no interceptions, for a quarterback rating of 121.1 against
his defenses.
If
Del Rio in Spanish means “of the river,” Brady must mean “I’ll pass at will on
Del Rio’s defenses.”
This
will likely be a high scoring affair, and the Brady/Manning match up will be
“one for the ages,” literally. But, like
the Grateful Dead’s Jerry Garcia sings on Morning Dew, it really doesn’t matter anyway. Nether team can win the Super Bowl, so this
is a pointless contest played for the purpose of selling a lot of Toyotas,
Coors Light, Viagra and Bacon Bits, but it will not produce the next champion
of the National Football League. I think
the Yawns win this one by two touchdowns.
New
England Patriots: 35
Denver
Broncos: 32
Yawns: 49
