March 7, 2015

Daylight Savings Time: A Golfer's Lament

Finally we come to the best weekend of the year.  The weekend when we "Spring forward" and set our clocks one hour ahead, thus increasing our time to play golf.  Why isn't that the norm?  Why can't we have an extra hour of daylight year round?  You know this isn't about running over Iowa farm kids waiting for a school bus in the deep, dark winter.  No, this is about our government controlling the amount of time we have to play golf.

It was President Woodrow Wilson that forced Daylight Savings time on the American people in 1918 in order to save energy and support the war effort -- something called World War I -- you may have heard of it.  But that wasn't the real reason for Wilson's move to Daylight Savings.

Wilson's decision was really about preventing golfers from playing too much, which limited the amount of ammunition, helmets and bayonets they could make.  It seems that people were enjoying playing golf too much, so Wilson instituted mandatory early darkness on the citizenry, forcing golfers back into the factories to make more munitions and less birdies.  So we were victorious in World War I, but in the process we lost the real war -- the war on golf.  And the war continues to this day.

The government still forces clocks backward in November, making us spend more time indoors being good husbands, wives and fathers and mothers during the winter holiday season, instead of playing golf.  The winter is when real golfers make their commitment known by playing through rain, cold, fog, sleet and even snow.  But without that extra hour we're doomed to remain indoors stoking the fire, removing excess moisture from obese turkeys, and pretending mistletoe means something.

Good grief, what a life.

Fox News annually beats the drum about the "War on Christmas," so maybe the Golf Channel will pick up on the "War on Golf," when the government forces darkness upon us in November, then provides a wee bit of daylight for dedicated golfers to hit a few more shots into the Summer evenings.

This weekend let's enjoy an extra hour of golf, and thank the government for its generosity.

Thank you Big Government, may I have another hour, please?