Golf's Greatest Pleasure

Over the 4th of July weekend, I had the honor of playing a round of golf with my good friend Dennis Hicks.  We were up in Anchor Bay, just north of Gualala staying with another friend, enjoying the coast and the fresh air and the many variations of libations we concocted.  You have to know that Cuba Libres are the next big thing, what with the Castro brothers becoming friendly and whatnot.  Something about lime and Mexican Coca-Cola, and some rum in there somewhere, that makes the Cuba Libre quite tasty.  But that's not the point of this communication, so allow me to get back on track.

As many of you know, Dennis and I have been great friends for...let me do the math...40+ years.  We went to high school together, competed in sports together and against each other, and drank many, many beers over the years.  Dennis stood by me while I said my vows, and he has been a part of my life over the course of its many ups and downs. And so if you didn't know it, we are close, and have been for a long, long time.  

So what do we do when we get together?  Well, we frequently play golf, and that is what we found ourselves doing on the 4th of July at Sea Ranch Golf Course.  We teed off around 8:00 am, and we were mostly alone on the course.  Free ranging on the 4th of July, playing the game we love, and enjoying each other's company.  A perfect way to celebrate our nation's independence.  

As the day wore on it was apparent that one of us had his golf game in good shape, and the other one?  Well, let's say I had trouble finding the fairway about as often as I had trouble finding my ball.  Some days you have it, and some days you don't.  But, on the other hand, Dennis was playing a great round.  He was hitting the fairways, making good putts and in control of his game.  Almost the polar opposite of my day, but I kept trying my best to play well, which can be a fun day in and of itself.  NGU - Never Give Up -- and all that.  

But this was clearly Dennis' day, and he wound up shooting an 82, a great round on a pretty tough course, and one that we had never played before.  As for me, well my score of 97 wasn't very impressive, and not worthy of much discussion.  

So, why am I recounting this rather uneventful day of golf between two friends?  Well, there are many ways to go after a partner plays a great round of golf.  Some might be jealous and act like their friend's round was not that big a deal.  Another might say "only a sandbagger could play that kind of round."  But I'm not one for jealousy or bitterness over someone else's good play.  After all, it might be me having a good round, and then what should be the interaction?  

So after we completed our round, and we were having our customary Bloody Mary, I turned to Dennis and said, "You know, I didn't play very well today -- I had a very tired swing all day -- but I sure enjoyed watching you play today.  You played a great round of golf."  To which he said "thanks," and drew a long drink from the pint-sized glass of red liquid gold.  He knew I was sincere in my praise, and he also knew that the reverse round could happen at our next day on the links.  So it was a day to savor and remember.  Dennis a little more than me, but one to remember nonetheless.

I know Dennis felt good about my sincere comments, and so did I.   

There are a lot of interactions between friends on and off the golf course.  And I'm only recounting this story because I know there are some people that respond negatively when other's play better or get the best of them on the day's wagers.  "Sand bagger!"  "No way you play that well with that handicap," are frequent ways in which we bring someone down after they play a great round of golf.  But when a friend plays well, a friend should enjoy and appreciate it. 

Great rounds of golf happen to all of us, and so does bad play.  I accept both as the nature of the game, and try and embrace the good in both. It sure makes for a more enjoyable day on the course, and at the 19^th hole.

_ _ CK _ FF Abbreviated Vocabulary!

Cali, San Fran, J Lo, P Diddy? What the hell?  What’s with the abbreviations? Can't we just say the damn word? 

"Hey, congrats bro, happy b-day! How's San Fran? Is Cali cool, or what?”  Are we so lazy that we can't simply say "Congratulations?" Say that crap to me and you’re likely to get an abbreviated punch in the nose. 

Until his passing in 1997, the great Herb Caen shot down anyone that used "San Fran" instead of San Francisco.  If he were around today he would have a lot of shooting down to do as “San Fran” seems to have become the standard reference.  Watch any ESPN broadcast, and if they get around to saying something about the west coast, Ken or Barbie will invariably refer to our city as "San Fran" which drives me crazy.  There is no such place as San Fran. Never has been, never will be.  

Words, language, description, phrasing — all are under attack by the infiltration of social media.  It started with those pre-teens who created a new language in the confined space of their flip phones. Then Twitter came along and limited us to 140 characters. Otherwise little negative red numbers show up and cut you off.  

I know 140 characters, I’ve served with 140 characters, and you, Senator Twitter, are not one of them. 

Where does it end? Refrigeration made humans far more susceptible to food poisoning, changing the course of physical evolution. Will the impact of social media be another example of social evolution directing physical evolution? Will our brains recede like our hairlines? Flattened, barren wastelands where texture and meaning once flowed through our synapses like a lover's fingers through our once lustrous locks?

I say fuck off abbreviated vocabulary!  Take your San Fran, Cali and IDK, and stick it up your arse where the sun don't shine! 

Now doesn't that sound a lot better than SIUYAWTSDS? 

  

Note:  With thanks to my late, great friend Robert Cook, who frequently told me where to stick it in many different and creative ways. RIP bro.