_ _ CK _ FF Abbreviated Vocabulary!

Cali, San Fran, J Lo, P Diddy? What the hell?  What’s with the abbreviations? Can't we just say the damn word? 

"Hey, congrats bro, happy b-day! How's San Fran? Is Cali cool, or what?”  Are we so lazy that we can't simply say "Congratulations?" Say that crap to me and you’re likely to get an abbreviated punch in the nose. 

Until his passing in 1997, the great Herb Caen shot down anyone that used "San Fran" instead of San Francisco.  If he were around today he would have a lot of shooting down to do as “San Fran” seems to have become the standard reference.  Watch any ESPN broadcast, and if they get around to saying something about the west coast, Ken or Barbie will invariably refer to our city as "San Fran" which drives me crazy.  There is no such place as San Fran. Never has been, never will be.  

Words, language, description, phrasing — all are under attack by the infiltration of social media.  It started with those pre-teens who created a new language in the confined space of their flip phones. Then Twitter came along and limited us to 140 characters. Otherwise little negative red numbers show up and cut you off.  

I know 140 characters, I’ve served with 140 characters, and you, Senator Twitter, are not one of them. 

Where does it end? Refrigeration made humans far more susceptible to food poisoning, changing the course of physical evolution. Will the impact of social media be another example of social evolution directing physical evolution? Will our brains recede like our hairlines? Flattened, barren wastelands where texture and meaning once flowed through our synapses like a lover's fingers through our once lustrous locks?

I say fuck off abbreviated vocabulary!  Take your San Fran, Cali and IDK, and stick it up your arse where the sun don't shine! 

Now doesn't that sound a lot better than SIUYAWTSDS? 

  

Note:  With thanks to my late, great friend Robert Cook, who frequently told me where to stick it in many different and creative ways. RIP bro.