"Hey, ASSINO... Put Down That Check!"

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To stimulus or not to stimulus, that was the question facing Congress a year ago. Every Republican member of Congress answered the question with a resounding "no" vote on the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act (ARRA) last February. Agree or disagree with the Republicans, at least they were clear about their position on the bill. And that I respect.

A politician should be resolute and take a strong stance for their convictions, even if it is unpopular or counter to their own political interests. Like the eight senators that John F. Kennedy wrote about in "Profiles in Courage," the Republican members of Congress voted their conscience, even when most Americans supported the bill. The leader of the House Republicans, John Boehner (R) Ohio, even called the economic stimulus bill a "socialist program" and pronounced it a failure before even one dollar had been spent. Good for him. Like a good umpire, Boehner called the play as he saw it. I didn't agree with their position on the stimulus bill, but I appreciated the Republican Party members for taking a position and standing their ground.

Or did they?

Were the stalwarts of conservatism the fiscal disciplinarians they claim to be? Did they exhibit "Profiles in Courage?" Or, did they forget what their vote stood for and dip their buckets in the so-called "socialist" well? Let's examine the issue a little closer and find out just what happened with our Republican friends who voted their conscience on ARRA.

It turns out that many Republican congressmen and women (111 at last count) that vehemently opposed the stimulus bill have been taking credit for the stimulus money pouring into their districts. What? You don't believe me? Take a look at this article from "Think Progress" for details of their hypocrisy.

My favorite from the article has to be Senator Kit Bond of Missouri, who makes no sense when he praises a "type of emergency stimulus spending" he didn't vote for.

In a press release, Senator Kit Bond (R-MO) announced, “This is the type of emergency stimulus spending we should be supporting – programs that will create jobs now and help families.”

-Senator Bond Voted Against The Recovery Package Twice [Record Vote 59; Record Vote 60]

-Senator Bond Blasted The Recovery Package, Stating, “Unfortunately, This Bill Stimulates The Debt, It Stimulates The Growth Of Government, But It Doesn’t Stimulate Jobs.” [Forbes, 2/9/09]

Huh?

What would cause an experienced politician to publicly damn a spending bill and then publicly take credit for the same spending bill? I'm sure it will surprise you that I have the answer!

It turns out that the stalwarts of conservatism were actually "Anti-Stimulus Spenders in Name Only," or "ASSINO's." (pronounced "ASS I NO")

Are you for the stimulus bill or are you against it? You can't hold both positions at the same time. Unless you are an "ASSINO."

Do you think ARRA was wasteful government spending or proper use of government spending during a recession? An "ASSINO" adheres to both sides of that philisophical debate.

How do you take credit for that which you despise? Be an "ASSINO," of course.

How do you spend money from a program that you deem a failure? Ask an "ASSINO" Republican for the answer to that one.

How do you take the position that the stimulus bill is a socialist disaster, then take credit for delivering money to your district from the bill that you called a socialist disaster? Ask the Head "ASSINO" John Boehner and he'll tell you.

I've lived a few years now, but I've never seen such blatant hypocrisy by politicians in my life. It is one thing to oppose a spending bill on your own political beliefs or values. Fine, take a stand, have a political backbone. But to attack the spending bill as "socialist," and then turn around and take credit for the stimulus spending in your district is a new low, even for American politicians.

Last night I had a dream that I was at a ribbon cutting ceremony for a new stretch of highway through John Boehner's district. Rep. Boehner was standing there with an oversized check in his hand, and making comments about bringing new jobs and economic vitality to his constituents. The money to pay for the new highway came from the stimulus bill that he voted against. Frustrated by what I was witnessing, I yelled out "Hey ASSINO, put down that check!"

Looking startled, Rep. Boehner turned in my direction. When he saw it was me he winked, then gave me a knowing smile -- out of both sides of his mouth.