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It's award season for the celebrity crowd, that time of year when Hollywood holds their version of a Pee Wee league team banquet and awards everyone a trophy. "Here's your trophy Little Bradley Pitt," says the coach, while Big Daddy Pitt snaps his Polaroid from the bleachers for the family album. Little Bradley Pitt walks to the podium and thanks his mom and dad for his good looks, and his bat boy for picking up his bat after every smash hit. Between tears and sobs, he thanks his girlfriend Little Angie for all her support. What a proud moment for that Little Bradley Pitt!
Everyone's favorite is the People's Choice Awards, Hollywood's tip of the hat to egalitarianism. "Let the people decide" say the Hollywood top shelf from behind the security of the red velvet ropes. And now the granddaddy of them all, The Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences has doubled the Best Picture nominations from 5 to 10. Not only are the award shows multiplying, but the awards on the award shows are multiplying. That must be what the Republicans mean when they talk about "liberal Hollywood."
It used to be they gave out a few Oscars and everyone headed to the desert for a little R&R. A statue in one hand, a statuesque in the other, the glamorous ones raced to Palm Springs in their little red convertibles, top down, wind scaring their cashmere scarves straight. Not to be heard from again until the summer blockbuster season or the unlucky car crash in the desert night.
Today's celebrities will have none of that. When not attending award shows, they're working 24/7 to save the world from hunger, disease and underage shoe making. They actually need a multitude of award shows so they can sit still for a few hours and rest. But the cameras will catch the stars squirming in their seats on Oscar night - they're anxious to get back out there and save the world. "Go, Little Bradley Pitt, go! Save the people, save the world, save the little shoemakers!" shout the masses from the balcony. Little Bradley Pitt smiles and nods as he awaits his turn at the podium.
Everyone's favorite is the People's Choice Awards, Hollywood's tip of the hat to egalitarianism. "Let the people decide" say the Hollywood top shelf from behind the security of the red velvet ropes. And now the granddaddy of them all, The Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences has doubled the Best Picture nominations from 5 to 10. Not only are the award shows multiplying, but the awards on the award shows are multiplying. That must be what the Republicans mean when they talk about "liberal Hollywood."
It used to be they gave out a few Oscars and everyone headed to the desert for a little R&R. A statue in one hand, a statuesque in the other, the glamorous ones raced to Palm Springs in their little red convertibles, top down, wind scaring their cashmere scarves straight. Not to be heard from again until the summer blockbuster season or the unlucky car crash in the desert night.
Today's celebrities will have none of that. When not attending award shows, they're working 24/7 to save the world from hunger, disease and underage shoe making. They actually need a multitude of award shows so they can sit still for a few hours and rest. But the cameras will catch the stars squirming in their seats on Oscar night - they're anxious to get back out there and save the world. "Go, Little Bradley Pitt, go! Save the people, save the world, save the little shoemakers!" shout the masses from the balcony. Little Bradley Pitt smiles and nods as he awaits his turn at the podium.
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